as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
