I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
