so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
