Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
