Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
