I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Enjoy the penises
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
