Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
