You really coming over, don't trick.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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