so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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