the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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