"it" just moved
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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