watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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