I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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