i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
