I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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