yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
