theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
