The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
