Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
