The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
