Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
