i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
