yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
