i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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