U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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