yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
