I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i think my cat just said my name.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
