Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
