I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
