It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
