check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
