best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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