We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
