I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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