she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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