Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
