oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
