you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
