When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
worst night to have a conscience
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
