He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
