i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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