therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
