You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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