it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
