Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
