I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
