Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
