I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
