we're blogging at a bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
