You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
