okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
