love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
