Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Success! We fucked roommates!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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