when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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