So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Bring me that man meat
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
