I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
