So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
