yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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