Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
